Choose Kindness: The Secret Superpower to Becoming a Great Leader

Deep down, is everybody a good human being wanting to choose kindness?

That guy who cut you off on your way to work, are they also a good person?

That team member that is not performing as expected, are they a good person? 

There’s a motto I remind myself of very frequently…

Choose kindness; this person is doing their very best.

Nobody gets up every morning thinking they’re going to tick off everybody they meet. 

We all wake up set on doing our best. 

Circumstances might force us to behave in an unwelcome way, but everyone is doing the best that they can. 

Adopting this mindset will radically improve the relationship you have with yourself and others while improving your leadership skills to create success. 


In this episode, I shared some practical tools and strategies with Angie Colee on topics including…


Being Open & Flexible To Other Ways Of Doing Tasks 

  • As a leader, you probably have your own way of doing things. It’s obviously working because it’s gotten you this far, but is it really the best way of doing things?
  • Your way is not necessarily the right way because we’re biased in our own preferences.
  • One of the best things you can do for yourself as a leader is to learn your preferences and those of the people around you. 
  • Only then can you lead them in your own style but in a way that engages them to do their best work.
  • Remember, if you’re telling them how to do something every step of the way, you’ll never know if your process is better than theirs. 
  • Your people are brilliant, and that’s why you have them on your team. Be open and flexible to other solutions, listening to your team and their ideas. They may surprise you! 

Self-Kindness is Your Secret Superpower

  • Question – are you kind to yourself? What do you do when things don’t go according to plan?
  • We should all be kind to ourselves because there’s growth that comes with kindness.
  • The reason you didn’t do better is that you didn’t know better and that’s okay. That’s not an excuse. 
  • If you can give your kids, siblings, friends, or random strangers some grace, then you should spare some grace for yourself, too. 
  • You are not perfect, so stop expecting perfection from yourself. 
  • Once you build that self-kindness, then you become more compassionate to other people.
  • When people make mistakes, be compassionate. That person is doing their very best because nobody ever wakes up intending to be a terrible human being. 

The Importance of Soft Skills in Leadership

  • Most people would agree that soft skills are important. So why do we still dismiss them just because they are not directly tied to the company’s bottom line?
  • Leaders need soft skills if they are to be successful in their leadership.
  • Just because someone is good at doing something does not necessarily make them a great leader. 
  • There’s a difference between the relational side and the task side. 
  • Having a task orientation is what gets us outcomes from a business perspective. But the relational side is how we drive our people to greatness.
  • Recent leadership research suggests that we need a balance between the relational and the task side of leadership. If you are out of balance, you’re essentially limiting your true potential.

A Balance Between Being and Doing

  • We live in a capitalist society where success markers are achieving and earning as much as possible – that’s the only way to get that recognition. 
  • However, being present in the moment, enjoying nature, and cultivating relationships with friends, family, and loved ones is what makes life gorgeous and fulfilling. 
  • At the end of the day, we’re human beings with souls. We’re not productivity machines.
  • If you’re hurting in a professional environment, be vulnerable enough to say, I am human, and humans are allowed to just be.  

What to Do on a Low-Energy Day

  • If you’ve ever had one of those days where you just felt like you didn’t want to do anything, you’re not alone. It happens to the best of us. 
  • It’s okay to stay in your jammies and work from your bed. 
  • It’s actually not counterproductive. Low-energy days are a thing. Accept that you just don’t feel like doing anything in a non-judgmental kind of way. 
  • You did your best. Yes, there are maybe some ways you could do better. But again, nobody wakes up intending to be unproductive. 

The Power of Awareness and Mindfulness 

  • If we’re going to be honest and practice self-kindness, then we must understand the power of awareness and mindfulness. 
  • We’re all humans, and that means that from time to time we will be overly critical of ourselves.
  • But here’s the thing, you are not perfect. Mindfulness gives you the ability to recognize when you become overly critical of yourself so you can allow yourself some grace.
  • We need to expand our emotional capacities; there’s no better way to do that than through meditation. 
  • Breathwork is another great preventative tool you can use when you feel agitated.
  • Rarely do people become great leaders if they cannot manage their emotions. 

What is Flexible Thinking?  

  • Being heads down in our business and unable to look out and see new possibilities only leads to rigid thinking and feelings of being stuck.
  • Leaders need to be flexible in their thinking.
  • Stay flexible, stay open, but be present to what’s happening. 
  • If you’re a leader, you need to develop the ability to shift perspectives, examine multiple angles, and be open to doing things in more than one way. 
  • If this skill does not come naturally to you, start by asking the kinds of questions that force you to see more than one window of possibility. 


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